Parents endure toddler power struggles very often. Before they go to work, children throw tantrums because they don’t want their parents to leave. Other times, they fight their parents due to the food for lunch or dinner. Some instances involve fighting due to the screen time they have and their parents just set the limit. Parents feel puzzled on how to manage their toddlers, especially if they refuse to listen to their words.
Changing some ways on managing the toddlers may do you good. This includes reducing punitive reinforcement and more positive parenting. Will this be effective for your family?
How to manage toddler power struggles?
It is painful to experience these power struggles as toddlers may continue this behavior when they grow up. Some kick the walls, punch the pillows, or scream at their parents just to get what they want. Parents ask themselves, what happened? Where did they go wrong?
While most parents wonder how to curb their toddlers’ misbehavior, some come up with uncommon ways to stop toddler power struggles. Read through the following and try these out in your homes.
Put yourself in your toddler’s shoes
Most of the time, parents tell their children what to do. From telling them to brush their teeth, to taking baths, toddlers sometimes feel that parents just order them around. When they stop doing what their parents want, parents lose their patience and sometimes explode.
However, if parents look at things from their toddlers’ shoes, they will see things differently.
For example:
Scenario:
Mom tells her toddler to brush their teeth just after watching their favorite tv show. However, toddler refuses. Mom gets angry at the toddler for refusing to obey what she said.
On the other hand, if mom sees this from the toddler’s perspective. The toddler just wants to rest for a bit since they feel lazy right after their favorite show. They will brush their teeth after a few minutes. Mom tends to see and jump to conclusions right away before thinking how will her toddler feel.
Parents need to remember that toddlers think differently than adults do. Remember that children will not understand everything you say automatically. Before reprimanding them, try to be in their shoes and look at things from their eyes.
Offer toddlers choices
During this toddler phase, they explore their environment and start to choose what they eat or which toy they want to play with. Sometimes, parents forget their children will grow up and neglect that they can choose which activities they want to do.
But how can parents change the game that their toddlers might be playing? Follow these three (3) steps in order to successfully give toddlers choices.
- Limit their options to two (2) choices only.
- Reassure them that as their parent, you’ll respect their choice.
- Choices must be approved by the parents as well.
- Offer these choices when necessary and not all the time.
Refrain from snapping at the toddler
Do you clash with the toddlers’ power struggles? Did you listen to what the toddler was saying before snapping at them?
Just when toddlers get on your nerves, pause for a moment. Take deep breaths and think about what might happen if you snapped.
One of the best ways of stopping toddler power struggles is to give toddlers extra time so they can prepare themselves. Begin with showing the toddler how to set up the table rather than snapping at them for not doing a good performance.
Extend your patience
Did the toddler just test your patience? When parents feel annoyed at their children about their rough antics, some parents just explode. In the end, it hurts their children and when their parents see that, it hurts them too.
One of the best things to do when this happens is to avoid adding fire to the ruckus the toddler already made. If the toddler throws a tantrum, prevent yourself from throwing one too. When the toddler sees their parents throw a tantrum, they might copy it every single time.
Remember to exercise your patience and deal with your children calmly.
Don’t let the toddler be an extension of yourself
Most parents think that their toddlers are mini versions of themselves. However, that’s not the case. Children have their own identities and are not the mini versions of their parents.
They’re completely different from their parents. Sometimes, parents get annoyed when their children stop doing what they want them to do. This results in power struggles and terrible tantrums.
From one adult to another, it is painful to be treated like someone without worth. The same concept applies to children as well. Let them be their own selves and respect them as another human being.
Parents can find other ways to discipline a toddler. Some consider trying positive parenting techniques instead of punitive methods. Truth be told, it sometimes is by trial and error as every kid is different. The Pillars Christian Learning Center helps parents curb toddler power struggles through calm and peaceful methods. When you feel everything’s going nowhere, just remember to consult preschools near you.